i understand with everything going on it is hard, but that was an issue with my ex-husband after we had kids. they say love is sweeter than the second time arounnd, probably to some but not on me l met my boyfriebd wayback in highschool .. Im so gullible that time that I gave him everything I had. He always gives excuses such as I just ate and no matter what I still put my pride aside and do it for him. Its comforting knowing others face the same issues. Im in a similar situation. Meaning me. My brother did tell me that he may be going through some things in his personal life that he is not ready to share with me. He does spend time with us and financially he is very supportive which Im great full for. I dont know if hes dealing with somethings, but Ive decided to give him space & focus on me. Honestly this lockdown really changed my relationship! If I try to tell him how much I care he insists I dont. He says he doesnt want to text and show love and tells me to be patient. Its just making me feel awful but its so difficult because he is my life Ive been with him that long and he is a sensitive person I dont want to hurt his feelings as he isnt bad at all hes just lazy, but I really feel like Im wasting my time now. He only tells me he loves me on text hardly to my face until I say it first. Thats why I feel like I need to leave. This yr even I got nothing from his side. I stayed in that relationship. I used to love doing that! Nor the stress of my mothers battle with stage 4 cancer. It confuses us because we know the love ie there. He comes to stay here but thats it really. Were both not yet married with our partners since both of our relationship with our partners is not okay. I know it sounds like Im materialistic but Im not, I just want effort. First, the more you push, the more he will pull back, because whatever his reason is, the pressure from you wont help. He has always been so sweet and consistent. Hello everyone, i have a story to share! I leave him love notes and make him dinner all the time and he doesnt match my effort. Find the courage to leave him! We are the prize, we have to make them earn us. Till then, you should be determined not to commit to anything or anyone. Good luck! What do you think? Hi Beyza! His text messages have gotten shorter, he would rather hangout with his buddies instead and says if we hangout to much we will get bored of eachother. If hes not at work, hes in his reclyner n thats where he stays n doesnt get up unless he has to pee. I got back with my ex after months. That is an abusive, toxic relationship and you deserve so much better! Doesnt want to go do nothing but work on projects for the house. The thing is there seemed to be no problem in our relationship, i love him and i feel like its mutual but about two weeks ago he began to claim that i was cheating on him (which Im not) and well ik its happened to him before. The three emotions you suggested we wrote down mine were: Last on the priorities, unloved, lonely/lost. He says he loves me and cares for me but I never hear him talking of the future or wanting me to be his wife. And when I would send him flirty or intimate texts in the beginning of this whole thing, he would either not respond at all or sound uncomfortable in his response. Easier said than done, I know, but you wont regret it. The straw that broke me was when he didnt bother to do anything special for my 40th birthday and our anniversary, which fall on the same day. You see, now when you decide to leave him, its not because you dont love him, but its because you love yourself and respect yourself far more than you love him. He was blowing me off each and every time. Something went down and he doesnt want to confess. Hed say something really mean, watch my cry and if I asked to talk about it, Hed tell me why do we have to always talk about it or why cant you just drop it and not bring it up my favorite was Im not apologizing because Im not sorry, you just like making a big deal over nothing one time I asked about marriage (he took me to the red wood Forrest and asked me to marry him 2 years prior to this comment) he told me hed never marry a b**ch. He doesnt ever say I love you first, he doesnt hold my hand, the most hell ever do on his own is give me a kiss here and there and theyre quick pecks. I understand law school is a rigorous program but for some reason he has been unhappy and stressed about everything that is going on in his life. Start by letting go slowly. One of the issues I have had for almost 2 years is that he does not put effort to see me. Its been six months now and so far nothing. The beginning of our relationship was heaven, as what most relationships are. I feel that I am confused and disappointed. That same night, we agreed to date. Right now I want to clear things out and make this the last time we talk about this, because in the last month I told him many times that I felt like he made no time for me and was making more effort to spend time with his friends than with me, and he doesnt even answers my texts. But I genuinely hope this would be of help (to you and to anyone whos going through a similar scenario). What did you end up doing ? Because then they they think they can control and manipulate us. Omgod girl leave him. We must set boundaries and stick to them so we dont keep ending up here! I go to his house on Sundays and help with his kids. Be careful when you hear those words. we are a college couple of 2.5 years now. But he makes time for his boys and gaming everyday. I havent see each other for 2months which it is really upsetting. I clean, cook, bring him sandwiches to his work, take care of the dog while he does nothing. My boyfriend is a gifts/ Provider type of love which is always been difficult and I try to be super vocal about the ways I feel loved. Hes a year above me, so he went to the senior high and I still went to the junior high (sophomore and freshman) and he would go out of his way because his school got out earlier, he would walk to the junior high and meet me after school and wed walk home. 8 Signs Youre Falling Out of Love With Your Partner, How People Who Commit Adultery Justify Cheating, According to an Expert, What to Do If Someone Is Flirting With Your Partner, What Is Breadcrumbing? If these are things that are important to her and not you, maybe you all arent the best fit. Communicate with him without fighting. Hopefully, these reasons will let you know the answer if you are wondering why did he stop talking to me. This became such an issue that, we fight basically every days I do everything to make his life easier. He said he was my family and I took that wholeheartedly. You figure youll be happier not wanting anything from anyone. Maybe hes just tired from working too much? Why doesnt he ever randomly surprise me, try to plan out dates, put a lot of thought into gifts, etc. Im the beginning, it was easy. I would then open a honest discussion about how we both feel when I return. That doesnt only mean that hes Especially for someone like me who is lonely all the time. and he even told me that her wife cheated on him. I sometimes think my expectations are too high. He broke up with her partner before we had sex they already messed up before me. Thank you for taking the time to type the words in your comment. I told him 3 times that this has bothered me and he has made no effort to change this. Rather than jumping to conclusions, have a conversation with your partner and ask them what's been on their mind and the reasons for their apparent loss of interest. He tells me that he loves me very much and I know he does. This guy is not going to do that for you. I know its a tough pill to swallow, but in time you will heal. I even asked around to see if anyone knew what happened and no one did. I know youre ignoring me, but I just want to know why or what I did to you? If you Everything about him was so private I have no idea what he does. Stopped fantasies and games and generally sexual desire towards me about 2-3 years ago now, losing track. He keeps doing this and now he is ignoring me again and idk whats going onhe was couch hopping but hes back at his sisters now and he wont answer my emails. I really love him and care for him. It only got better when the pandemic hit and it seemed like we wouldnt see each other very much although we live 10 minutes apart in different towns. I do really love him even we just got together. Then came the coronavirus and the lockdown and he was forced to stop school. im not saying there isnt things wrong with me but i havent done anything to deserve this kind of treatment i wait on him hand and foot and im just getting exhausted but i dont want give up. We have complete separate paths in store and we have absolutely nothing in common and we also live together but we barely see each other so you would think that when we do have time for one another he would enjoy the time he has with me but it doesnt feel like that. I take it very personally and feel disrespected by this, alone, that he has such little respect for my comfort or opinion of him he just doesnt bother but he will shower and shave and brush his hair even to go get a haircut. I know that feeling. Everything now has become a tit-for-tat pissing match competition for control and autonomy. I decided to tell him how I felt because its always best to tell the other person how you feel. I have no idea what this is all about, but the roller coaster needs to stop, its too hard for me to deal with. He said the reason we broke up was because of different love languages, arguing, and that he was not as emotionally available as I need him to be. Disappointment is a strong emotion to deal with. Ive been ok with not having children but no dog and no mutual desire for marriage as something wed like in our life (generally speaking) is becoming a pain point for me. He is a nice guy as a whole but its the fact he went out of his way for me a handful of times that gave me a little hope in this sudden realization of my feelings but recently he has completely shut me out. But you have to become selfless. I have told him time and time again that this is something i need in a relationship and he admits to not doing enough but has NEVER changed. However his texts are friendly, never intimate or flirty. .he is older than me 5 years older and I started dating him because I thought he was mature but every time we fought he puts me down telling me Im fat, Im disgusting, no one will ever want meabout a year ago I went through something where I needed all the support I could get and he left me and didnt have my back..10 years later we have no sex and its always in excuse as to why we are not having ithe continues to call me names and everytime I tell him my true feelings it seems like he dosent care, Ive asked him if he would like to try and start all over because I would still wanna be with him and he agrees and says yes and once again we keep going like through this cycle that never ends..I just wanna be happy at this point I dont know why he dosent try a little harder but Im tired. I tried talking to him about it and he was very dismissive with just an okay, I have been dating my boyfriend for over 3years now but he hasnt prioritized me..his family always comes first, whereas i do the most work, im there for him emotionally, physically financially sometimesbut I always come last on his list he is a good guy and he respects me and all but im jst tired cos he doesnt spend on me.Then i met another guy who will give me his eyeballs as soon as i ask for them but he is very disrespectful and selfish wen it comes to my feelings.. he is always the right one.. if I complain of being ignored till his convenience he jst ignores me some more and comes back to say Im sorry babe i love you and thats it..I really dont know what to do.. please help me. He is highly smart so I am not going to spell it out for him. Bring him sandwiches to his house on Sundays and help with his.. Every time you, maybe you all arent the best fit 2.5 years now a lot of into. 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